Simple answer- Hire a Wedding Co-ordinator. A high percentage of my Clients have chosen to hire me for that reason. This way you can tell them that you did not want them to have the trouble and stress of organising the wedding and it will allow them to enjoy the day. If they do insist on getting involved, I tell the bride to give them my telephone number, I deal with this a lot and will make them feel involved and useful, whilst still keeping you in control. Many Brides Mums tell me that they are grateful to me for taking the responsibility away from them, and that they enjoyed the day more for that reason.

Hi You don't have to choose anyone to help, if you don't want. However, for the sake of harmony why not delegate equal amounts of tasks to each family and ask them to take charge of these. You could ask them to do the things you least have the inclination to do yourself or haven't the time to, which will help you out and also keep them involved and feeling needed. I think the key is for you to stay feeling as if you are in control and you could do this by letting everyone know now what sort of wedding you want and how you intend to go about organising it. As you say, they are probably just trying to help you so you don't have to take the strain all on your own but if you explain how they could help, it should resolve things. Hope this helps a little Siobhan