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Hi Margaret,
I am sorry to here that you must feel very hurt. This is quite common so you are not alone and I wouldn't take it too much to heart. A lot of brides feel quite awkward when parents have separated and deep down it is a stress to them but usually they do not know how to approach the subject. I am sure you understand sometimes loyalties usually always gear towards their actual parents regardless of circumstances.
I don't know what relationship you have with your step daughter nor that of the relationship she has with her mother; however if you have raised her for the last 10 years then I would say that you would both have a strong bond.
Maybe she is receiving pressure from her mother? Does her mother have a partner who she will be bringing to the wedding? If she doesn't - she may be going under the instruction of her mother. Have you got a good relationship with your husband's ex-wife? Have a think about some of the questions I have raised and try to establish first of all how this situation could have come about.
Talk to her about it and ask why you have not been invited and that you love her and are very upset that she does not want you to come to one of the most important days of her life.
Talk calmly but openly give her a hug and tell her it is alright - you just can't help but wonder why you are not welcome.
I would also seek support from your husband your step daughter's father maybe he can help.
I wish you the very best and hope you get this resolved soon.
GOOD LUCK
MRS S
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