Most people would prefer to give vouchers rather than cheques or cash so I would maybe phrase it something like 'As we have lived together for a while, we are fortunate to have almost everything we need in our home. It is your presence at our special day that is most important and a gift is not necessary. If you would however like to offer something then vouchers from the following store would be greatly appreciated'

Dear Kate, Sometimes there is no easy way of asking someone for money. Have you considered opening a joint bank account just for the wedding because then money can be given anonomously to reduce people feeling emabrassed about quantity, the other thing you could do is if your invitations are from your parents rather than you you could say that they have opened an account for you, as for wording you could possibly phrase it like this(change if you go down the parents route): Kate and Husband2B have an established home would like to be able save for the future. We would be extremely grateful of any monetry gifts we receive to help us build a good future together, we have opened a bank account for wedding gifts, and gifts can be paid to ...... if you would rather buy a gift then vouchers for ???? would also be received with thanks. I hope this helps a little bit, take care Dawn

Hi Kate, I understand your situation and what you are trying to say - its difficult with gift lists or gift wishes as you do not want to offend anyone. However these days this is more popular as more and more couples are already living together and have set up home together; so you are not alone. It is sometimes a good idea to offer what you are saving the money for - it usually helps if the guests feel they are contributing towards something rather than for your future bank account if you see what I mean. Therefore you could try something like this; As you already know we have been living together for a few years and have a lovely home already set up; therefore you will pleased to know no stressful shopping is required. However our family and some friends are donating money gift cards or vouchers which we are going to save up and buy something huge and fabulous. If you would like to join them; donations can be a low as £5.00; I hope this this you well and does save you time by eleviating the stress of shopping for a wedding gift; Thank you. I think this a softer and nicer way of putting it; but at the end of the day it is your choice. Play around with some wording and make sure you are happy with it before you send anything otherwise you will just worry about when you send them out. I hope this has been of some help to you; I wish you Good Luck MRS S