Dear Kelly I'm sorry you are in such a difficult position and can understand how hurt you must be feeling. I think that this really boils down to whether or not you want to keep your friendship or not. You are not wrong to feel so disappointed and I agree that it does seem very unfair. However, if your friend has decided that she only would like 2 bridesmaids and asking you would make it difficult to keep it at that, then that's her decision to make. Although you're finding hard to understand, maybe you could just believe that she wouldn't wish to upset you and that she can't see any other way around the matter. Why not talk to her about the possibility of being involved in another way? Maybe you could help design the stationery or the flowers - something that gives you some input in a special way. I know this is hard but once the day is over (and it is one day) and if you could try to overcome your feelings for her, I'm sure she would be so very grateful she'd respect you even more as a friend. Very best of luck, whatever you decide. Siobhan

Dear Kelly I'm sorry you are in such a difficult position and can understand how hurt you must be feeling. I think that this really boils down to whether or not you want to keep your friendship or not. You are not wrong to feel so disappointed and I agree that it does seem very unfair. However, if your friend has decided that she only would like 2 bridesmaids and asking you would make it difficult to keep it at that, then that's her decision to make. Although you're finding hard to understand, maybe you could just believe that she wouldn't wish to upset you and that she can't see any other way around the matter. Why not talk to her about the possibility of being involved in another way? Maybe you could help design the stationery or the flowers - something that gives you some input in a special way. I know this is hard but once the day is over (and it is one day) and if you could try to overcome your feelings for her, I'm sure she would be so very grateful she'd respect you even more as a friend. Very best of luck, whatever you decide. Siobhan

I understand why you are hurt. Choosing a bridal party is one of the difficult parts of the wedding. Your friend has not done this intentionally; if brides were to put all of their friends in the bridal party, there would probably be about 6-8 bridesmaids this is an expense they can do without as I am sure you understand. Unfortunately someone is alway left feeling hurt and rejected. Why don't you ask your friend if you can help out with the wedding plans or help them get ready - that way you will be there and can enjoy all the fun. Try not to take this personally; your friend will be upset at the fact you are upset and really she doesn't need any more stress. Try and understand - think of the people you didn't ask to be your bridesmaid - they probably felt hurt too but you couldn't ask them all - could you. I hope you feel better soon and are involved in the wedding plans. Good Luck MRS S